So, there's so much I want to write and so much I have to write. So many happy wonderful great amazing things. Ziva walking, talking, being ONE. Her amazing birthday party. Our wonderful friends and family helping out (and buying great gifts). Her amazing birthday cake that I felt so guilty throwing away the last few slices because it was so perfect. Watcing her learn and interact with the world.
The great time we had in Baltimore at the Fest. Ziva was a hit, she loved watching the bands (especially drummers) and the photo booth. She jumped off my lap at one point and ran over to get her photos taken. Even got her photo taken with some bands. Watching big "scary" looking punk rock guys (and ladies) ohh and ahh and talk gibberish to a one yr old little girl is absolutely adorable.
This is a pic when she ran over, and posed. I mean seriously? C'mon! How cute is she? It was great (and she slept in until 9:30 every day!)
But, then there's those moments that change your lives forever. The happy ones - walking down the aisle, peeing on a stick and finding out you're pregnant, hearing that first newborn cry. All amazing things. But, of course there's always the horrible horrible ones as well. The ones where you just want to yell at the asshole who ruined your sister's life. The asshole who made it so nothing will ever be the same again. I don't want to think about that and I don't want to write about that yet, it's all that's on my mind right now.
I want to think happy thoughts and funny thoughts. Like, for breakfast Ziva ate an entire english muffin. She then proceeded to steal my eggs and cherries because mommy's food always tastes better than what's on her plate. Ziva waking up from her nap with daddy and immediately reaching for me to pick her up. Ziva walking all by herself out to the car today like a big big girl. She even sat down to climb up the 2" step and then sat back down to climb down the 2" step. It was adorable and wonderful watching her discover the world. She quacked at the ducks at the ecology site today. She pointed to the cow and the bears and deer (yes, its a weird array of animals). She even stared at the bald eagle while we explained the 4th of July.
But, in the back of all this wonderfulness is an asshole ruining it all. Just in the back of my head whatever I'm doing throughout the day. I want to be there with my sister. It's times like these that I feel horrible for not living in PA and for staying on Long Island. I told her we should move down south, somewhere warm and cheap and she can start over and we'll be together. This asshole has ruined her life in a moment (at this point we've found out it's been a few moments). In that instant that we found out everything changed. That's horrible.