(no subject)

So today was not fun at all.

Went to work.. had to leave at 9:45 for midwife appointment. Get there and my blood pressure is high. Not crazy high – just high enough to worry them. They retake it two more times – it goes down to 120/90.   Their cutoff for “go to the hospital now” is 140/90. 

The midwife mentioned induction. I was okay cause I knew this would be brought up anyway since I’m 40 weeks 5 days along – it’s to be expected.  She checked my cervix – still just a fingertip dilated but she said about halfway effaced. This is good news – last week I was hard as a rock. Baby is still high though.

She mentioned that everything is going great with the baby and maybe my body is just tired of being pregnant. Well then, why won’t it just give up and let the baby out?? She doesn’t want me walking miles a day to help things along cause it’ll just tire me out – just resting and relaxing on my left side on the couch. I went home and didn’t go back to work (moron/new girl did call me twice to ask questions.. she couldn’t ask ANYONE else??)

She started to go over what’s involved in an induction. I asked her if I’d need an IV (which is such an inconsequential thing, I know). She said yes. I started crying. She was like no no, it’ll be fine, IVs aren’t bad! Plus, it wouldn’t be until next week – a lot can happen between now and then!

I know and I understand that. However, an induction changes everything I’ve been trying so hard to avoid. An induction means no laboring at home, no food/drink, constant fetal monitoring, hooked up to an IV, etc etc etc.. it’s just not at all what I want/wanted. I know you don’t always get what you want but it just kinda sucks at this point. I was on the phone with my sister for like 2 hours today cause she went through the exact same thing. She did point out that she was even 40w5days and that’s when her blood pressure was high. The difference is her OB induced her that day. She was like you have 5 more days – you’ll be fine.

She hooked me up to the fetal monitor and everything was fine. Although, it did take quite a while to find the baby’s heartbeat which was really freaking me out. She went over more induction stuff (and gave me tissues before she even started talking). Mark was (luckily) at the appointment so she left us alone on the monitor. I’d randomly cry cause I’m too pregnant to control my emotions at this point. Mark was like don’t get upset! The baby’s heart rate shoots up whenever you do! I’m like “Really, Mark? Really? What’re you doing to distract me?” Just then the midwife came back in and Mark is like “She got upset a few times – I think that’s why the heart rate jumped”. The midwife is like “No, that’s movement, that’s a good thing!” That was at least a fun part of the appt.

I’m not even scheduled until Tuesday night for it so anything can happen before then. I have to get my blood pressure rechecked on Saturday and if it’s high we’ll go ahead with the induction on Tuesday, if it’s low I can buy myself a few more days if I want them.

I know an induction doesn’t automatically mean a c-section and I hope it doesn’t in my case. I just feel like a lot of what I wanted is going to change in the upcoming days unless this kid/my uterus decide to start cooperating.