labor/birth dream

[alibali]

I had a very vivid dream about labor/birth.  Not at all vivid in the fact that I saw/felt everything just vivid in that I woke up surprised I was still pregnant. I was in horrible pain and then blacked out.  Apparently, I ended up getting a c-section and when I came to, Mark told me everything that happened because I didn't know anything.  I wasn't upset about the c-section because I didn't have any pain and felt much better than my vaginal birth last time.  I was actually incredibly upset that I had gotten an epidural and was so disappointed in myself.

Then, I decided to go through my bag and it was just full of stuffed animals and toys for Ziva.  It didn't have anything that I actually wanted to bring and it didn't have my magical placenta releasng herb that my midwife has told me to bring with me.  Once I realized I didn't have it, I figured the c-section was for the best so I didn't have to deal with someone reaching in and pulling out my placenta, I was just still upset about getting an epidural.  I was in the middle of saying why I was so upset and then real life burst into my room at 7am to announce she had to go potty so I woke up.


I think it's weird that in my dream I was totally okay with the c-section.  I guess cause this time around, I trust my midwife.  If I end up with a c-section, I know it was necessary and not that she just wants to end my pregnancy/labor so she can get home.  I've thought about the epidural and figured I would just play it by ear.  If I'm in horrible pain and can't take it anymore, I'll get the epidural.  If I'm handling things perfectly fine, there's no sense in getting the epidural.  Weird that in my dream that's what upset me.

Comments

[smasharash.livejournal.com]

Interesting. Any idea why your dream self was upset about the epidural? It sounds really empowering for you to be ok with a c-section because you trust your midwife, especially because avoiding one was the most important thing to you last time. Do you have a doula, or was that just in your dream? Have you had a chance to talk through what happened last time and why that might be?

[alibali.livejournal.com]

No, which is what made it so weird!

The last midwives I used were a group of 7 (now 10) who only practiced in a hospital. 5 of them were wonderful, but the other 2 just didn't sit right with me. There was one that, when I was being induced but not having contractions yet, asked me if I wanted a catheter so I wouldn't have to walk around - that's the complete opposite of everything I have ever heard/read about labor - keep moving! The woman I'm using this time around is just her. My daughter's nurse practitioner actually gave birth with her and had a c-section. She has said it was such a beautiful experience that she doesn't know if she'd try for a VBAC if she had another one as long as Dale could be there. I feel like that's a great review and I trust that she's looking out for my best interest and if I end up with a csection it would hopefully be a "nice" one. Hopefully that makes sense.

This time around I'm having a close friend who also trained as a doula there for me. She gave birth in the same hospital with a midwife that my midwife works with (that one now only does home births) and was a VBAC after 2 c-sections so she's pretty awesome, very knowledgable, and will support my decisions so I'm pretty comfortable with that too.

When I was first pregnant I went back to the old midwifery practice and asked a lot of questions and got a lot of runaround - that was one of the big factors with me changing to Dale. When I sat with her and told her the whole story she actually listened, assured me that the placenta issue might not happen again (but it could), but also told me ways we could get my placenta out (herbs positions, etc). She was also shocked about how traumatic the removal was and how no one really told me what was going on until a doctor was shoulder deep inside of me. She's had to remove placentas at drugfree homebirths and hasn't had any issue with it. I already have the angelica (magical placenta removing herb haha) and if I have another sticky placenta, she'll just tell Mark or Tiffany (my friend) to give me some - in the hospital she can't actually give it to me but she can tell them when to give it to me so that's good.

[smasharash.livejournal.com]

She sounds like a fantastic midwife!

I think I am right in saying that basically any intervention is a risk factor for the third stage not going smoothly because it interferes with the body doing it's thing. In the UK there is a 2 hour "limit" put on the third stage which means that the midwives like the placenta to be out by then, in a homebirth then this means that after two hours recommending transferring to hospital (not that I'm suggesting homebirth, but this just gives you an idea of how long it might take before it's actually out). Obviously if there is some other indication (like excessive blood loss) that something is not right then they will do something, but actually the time span of what is safe is actually pretty big. There is a lot more betweem having someone pull it out and using herbs, too! Like breastfeeding, as oxytocin helps to clamp down the uterus and detach the placenta. And the mother feeling safe and calm and relaxed, just like with giving birth and Ina May's sphincter law (have you heard of this?). Are these things your doula and/or midwife have talked about?

Sorry if this comment is all over the place, it's the end of the day and my brain doesn't work so well!

[alibali.livejournal.com]

I really like her so I'm hoping everything turns out well. I'm thinking positive and as long as it's available and I"m not "risked out" for some reason, I totally want to try giving birth in the tub this time around. The hospital only has one room with a tub but she said it hasn't really been an issue in the past that 2 people wanted it at the same time, so I guess we'll see.

I think the time limit may have been an issue with my last birth - it was about 45 minutes to an hour when they called the dr in to pull it out of me. With this midwife, she would give more time, we'd try the Angelica root, and she could go in and remove my placenta herself- plus she'd tell me what's going on which would really help with the trauma aspect of the whole thing. She definitely mentioned that when she's done hospital transfers, it's not a rushing type of thing even when they get to the hospital. For some reason, those midwives/hospital wanted everything out by an hour so that's the timeline they give and apparently they don't really care what they do to you to follow those guidelines.

I've read Ina May's book so I'm familiar. My doula/friend knows all about the prior birth so she'll be there to (hopefully) keep us all calm and we've spoken to the midwife about it a whole bunch too so she knows what we're getting into.