Mar. 2nd, 2009

If they ever need ideas for commercials to promote vegetarianism i have a fantastic idea.

So I'm roasting a chicken. I took it out of the freezer and put it into the fridge yesterday morning. It's been just sitting in the microwave since around 10:30am (yea yea you're not supposed to do that, I've survived this long hopefully I keep going). So I poke it around a bunch about 20 minutes ago before taking it out of its wrapping and it feels squishy. It's still cold but its definitely not frozen anymore.

So I put the microwave on defrost for like 2 minutes just to make sure it's not frozen and empty the dishwasher and get my pan ready (rummaged thru the cabinet until I found it). Cut up some better add a bunch of seasonings so I can melt it and pour it all over my chicken before it goes in.

Take chicken out. Wait, where's the goodie bag of spare parts? Hmmm weird, this side is closed, lemme flip it over. Why does this side look closed? This is where it belongs. I spread its legs and start digging in. I apologized to the chicken. Cause I truly was sorry. I find the goodie bag - it's stuck. Why are you stuck? I stop. I say to myself "C'mon Allison you can do this" Yes, I said Allison, I used the full name, I needed to be stern.

No, I can't. Lets defrost it in the microwave a bit more cause it's stuck. 5 minutes in the microwave. I test it at 2 minutes in. Nope no go. 3 minutes - nope. 4 minutes okay it's moving around. I just have to grab it and pull. Maybe I can just cook the damn chicken with the spare parts?? I mean at one point they were part of the chicken and a litle plastic baggie can't cause that much damage can it?? No, I can do this. I breathe in. I breathe out. I close my eyes. I reach my hand into the chicken. Further into the chicken than I ever wanted to go. I pull. It moves a little. I pull more. I feel like I'm helping this poor chicken give birth. I wiggle, it wiggles more. I pull - the bag rips. NO NO NO don't do that!

30 seconds on high in the microwave. I pull again. Nothing. I reach in - further than before. I reach in and it slides right out. I'm victorious and disgusted all at once. I'm thinking of throwing out the whole chicken and maybe we'll just go out for dinner.

I've come this far though - the hard part is over. I've put butter under the skin in the past but this time I couldn't. i violated that chicken enough, I needed to give her a break. I pour the seasoned butter on top, bottom, and a little inside - rub nicely all over - apologizing to her the whole time.

I think I just need to stick to buying chicken breast from now on. Boneless, skinless chicken breast.


Mar. 2nd, 2009 08:04 pm
This is how Cooper sits whenever we eat dinner (or any meal at our table)

cooper during dinner

He's so cute it's a wonder we don't just give him all of our food.



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