ok so i'm a bad poster what can i say. still need to cover: rehearsal dinner, her wedding gifts, the toasts, the stuff we found out about her from her brothers, and baby names. probably more.. but whatever.

all the pictures are right here: http://picasaweb.google.com/mark.enoch/Wedding
and i know its wrong. but i can say this cause i was much fatter at my wedding. she looks like a puffy marshmallow (or little bo peep) that wants to eat craig)

rehearsal dinner: why she had one, i have no idea. we show up at 8. sit across from matt (her brother) and missy. start catchign up with them. random chit chat. craigs parents (while we're talking about dogs) goes to Missy - so when you popping out a kid? and missy is like uhm we're talking about dogs. about 5 minutes later Jeanette sees this as her chance (i guess her chance to piss off her brothers/girlfriends) Jeanette decides to make an announcement. "Uhm, Hi! yeah, I just want to uhm thank everyone for uh being here and uhm i want to say that me and craig talked about uhm getting married for a uhm while now (yea last month when she thought she was pregnant) so this isn't uhm the uh reason why we did it but i just want to let everyone know (everyone knew except for her brothers and their gf's) that i i mean we are uhm WE'RE PREGNANT!!"

i may have left out a few of the "uhms" and "uhs" but either way you get the point and see how incredibly inappropriate of a time that is to do that. the reason they didn't know was cause jeanettes mom didn't want them going to the wedding thinking that was the only reason they were getting married.. as if they woulda gotten married in 2 months for ANY other reason. meanwhile as soon as she says it missy practically screams I KNEW IT! it was hysterical. matt and chris were both speechless.. and pale. and pissed off that they didn't know.

they rest of the rehearsal dinner was pretty uneventful. good food of course (its my dad/sisters cooking how could it not be?) mark and i had a job though.. it was to see how much we could raise the bill since dessert and soda was seperate. needless to say we drank about 5 sodas each.. got coffee.. and then split the Fondue and Cheesecake. why did i just capitalize the desserts? whatever lol.

the next day though (at the wedding) drinks were still seperate and mark beat me. i woulda beat him had Lisa (the waitress from the summer) not sucked on getting us refills. i think mark ended up with like 8 sodas and i had 6.

at the wedding i became the emcee. it was horrible. the wedding was supposed to be over at 430. but since jeanette didn't actually come down the stairs to get married until 1145 (instead of 11.. i have NO idea what took her so long.. she was just kinda standing around). so it was 4:10 and jeanette hadn't gotten any of her dances done. Oh yes, this wedding with 20 people she wanted to do all the typical dances.. in dining room 3. I'm like well let's get on this.. so then i got to announce father daughter dance mother son.. etc.



Weirdest part? She did the garter toss. The only single ladies are her brothers girlfriends and the waitresses.. and the men were her brothers and the dishwasher. It was really freaking awkward.. and not to mention rather gross.

They didn't actually get outta there until 6ish. I told my sister she shoulda charged her overtime. Guests were already sitting down eating in the restaurant and she wanted to turn on dance music. yeah, no. that didn't happen. So then at 6 her and craig got into the car and drove over to the manor for their 1 night honeymoon.

Maybe mark and i are totally weird (which i'm perfectly fine with) but after our wedding a whole bunch of us went back to his parents house and hung out until like 10 or 11. Who cares if its my wedding day? It's people I hadn't seen in a while (not really it was more like immediate family and bridal party.. but still) and we wanted to spend time with them. Had i JUST met marks parents or he just met mine.. i woulda been annoyed had we not stayed and hung out with them. they didn't instead they went to their room and sat there. its not even like they opened gift for hours. .there was 6 presents. I just t hink its shitty that they didn't spend some time with their family. especially since they're from maine and arizona.. its not like they get to see them everyday. her brothers were annoyed that he didn't stick around and chat for a bit. craig apparently didn't even talk to them the whole day. just kinda waved.

ok i'm going to lunch so i'm cutting this here. ohh i wanted to talk more about the dances. whatever later. i'm hungry. food is calling lol.
so yeah, the wedding. where to start? i have no idea.

the goods:
- the food was very good
- jeanette didn't drink at all; i was very proud of her
- the veil turned out very nice.. not my taste at all but still very nice
- we stayed up till 2am on saturday talking with jeanettes brothers/girlfriends all wondering what the hell is wrong with them.. but it was nice to catch up and hear other sides to stories.
- i had a very nice smokey eye going on with my makeup
-

the other stuff:
- greg. definitely a bad. craig's best friend. from the first 5 minutes i talked to him if i were jeanette i wouldn't have married craig. a persons friends say a lot about a person. his friend was an annoying retard. enough said.
- janet. craigs sister. wow. even more annoying. her husband just got deployed. he's in iraq for 3 months. after spending the weekend with her we all realized he probably volunteered to go. at least all of us agreed we would rather head to iraq then spend 3 months with her. she got into a big argument with my cousin about calling the tattoo machine a tattoo gun. he says that gun gives it a bad connotation because guns kill people. she started yelling that GUNS ARE A TOOL NOT A WEAPON! and jeph was just like yeah a gun is a tool to KILL PEOPLE. later on, while sitting right next to me, she tells chris (jeanettes younger brother) that she wonders where jeph is, he's probably out tattooing with his not a tattoo gun and that she "can't stand him! i hate him!" i was like wow. but didn't say anything cause i wanted to see how far she'd go. but chris pointed out that he was my cousin. and she was just like oh yeah i know.

- jeanette wanted us all to walk down the stairs so she could get pics of all of us. janet refused to and started crying saying she was all alone. i suggested she walk with her parents or greg. she refused and stormed out. shes very mature. so the rest of us all walk. my dad was the one telling us when to go so he was the last one up there with jeanette. he opened the door to the back staircase (leads down to the kitchen) and said "Jeanette, you can go down either staircase. This is completely your choice but if you choose the back stairs i'll be in the truck and i'll take you whereever you want to go. no questions asked" and her response: but if i go down the back, how do they take my picture?

so she got married. neither of them cried. jeanette balled at my 7 minute vegas wedding. now she has pregnancy hormones. and not a single tear. the bishop didn't ask if anyone objects. he did ask if we all do. like 3 people responded. the rest of us we're just all dumbfounded.

- we found out craig has a severe learning disability. so jeanette literally married a retard. because of the whole "law of dropping a level" for example: if you're dyslexic (which is a learning disability) you say "no no i'm just dyslexic". if someone is mentally retarded they say "its just a learning disability" so the fact that he has a severe one, well who knows what that means except that it makes sense. We found this out cause my sister suggested playing the Newlywed Game during the wedding. First question: Spell your spouse's full name. They couldn't do it. Craig wrote: Ginatte Ralyola and the girl has 4 middle names - he didn't know any of them. Later on Janet says "I can't believe you made Craig do that in front of everyone I felt so bad - he has severe learning disabilities ya know." We didn't know. Neither did Jeanette. Melissa told her the next day - "Oh Jeanette so sorry about teh Newlywed Game at the wedding i didn't know Craig was a special ed kid" Jeanette: huh? what are you talking about??

Now, dont get me wrong. Theres nothing wrong with marrying someone with a learning disability. Its not a big deal. It is a big deal when you dont know that your HUSBAND was in special ed all his life because of it.

Oh, and the part that really pisses me off? While planing her 2 week wedding, she actually said to my sister that mark and i rushed into things and that I made a mistake marrying him so quickly. I guess I made a mistake cause I tell the truth. Marriage is hard, and it does not solve every problem and we fight and we make up but its not like we walked down the aisle and all of a sudden everything was superfantastical and we never had a problem again because of some magical ring that was put on our fingers. thats absolutely ridiculous. Although I guess if i was a subordinate bitch marrying a retarded alcoholic I might think differently.

theres more but i'm typing angrily now so i should end it for now lol.

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alibali

November 2013

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