Melissa's Baby Shower in lovely bullet point form:

- mark decided to be nice and do some last minute running around for me the morning of.. he went to pick up the cake from BJ's and the woman said "what cake?" eventually she found it - i'm thinking she made it really quickly... then he got some balloons.

- we show up at 12:30 (an hour before the shower) and the manager was like what shower? it was at this point that i just started shaking.. and mark started yelling because people were sitting and eating where the baby shower was gonna be. the manager never apologized and he's just like "well gimme the stuff i'll set it up for you and you can come back at 130 when it starts" uhm.. no thats not gonna happen.

- melissa, paul, my mom and jeanette (and mackenzie) show up during all of this. they help with the yelling. jeanette starts helping me put centerpieces together cause i had no idea how to do it and also helped me to stop crying cause i was sooo done with the party at this point.

- 1:05 we finally start setting things up. my mom is bitching over the fact that the waitress can't get behind the table cause its against a wall. i scream at her to shut the hell up and get outta my way cause i need to set up.

- my aunt, nanny and pop show up. meryl and jeanette are godsends at helping me set everything up and making it look good. mark randomly runs around also making things look good. one of pauls mom's friends shows up (no one had ever met her).. she showed up 20 minutes before Emy did.

-1:25 Emy waltzes in and comes over and starts to ask me for help. i cut her off and tell her i can't help her i'm very busy setting up and i wll talk to her later. mark gives her the cold shoulder. she then asks me for tape to hang up the It's A Girl banners (the baby isn't born yet so i think 2 of the exact same It's A Girl banners is stupid) that she got. I proceed to hide my tape and tell her i dont have any. Manager gives her tape but tells her she cant hang anything on the wall cause it'll ruin the paint. she also tries to ask my mom for help and my mom (who was using a walker just to be an ass - she had knee surgery in the beginning of the month but hasn't been using the walker for the past 2 weeks)and my mom tells her she cant help cause she's using a walker.

- waitress was never told to tell people that soda/alcohol was an extra charge. my mom starts flipping out. i'm like who the fuck cares. they already ordered, you can't tell them they have to pay for it now. and if the manager tries to charge me i'll tell him i'm not paying cause of all the fucking up they did. mom starts to bitch again and i flip out

- i go outside and have my nervous breakdown with melissa and paul. i'm screaming that his mom is an asshole. and thats when i see that 3 people who told me they weren't coming decided to show up for the hell of it. so i start screaming about them. paul tells me his mom is crazy and goes and gets me tissues. i later find out that the family i was screaming about was about 12 feet away from me the whole time.

- we play games - word scramble, how many candies in the bottle, and the poopie diaper game. there was a 3 way tie for the poopie diaper game so i took out the bonus diaper lol. It was a tie between Jeanette and two other people (one had already won a game and one was the girl who told me she wasn't coming). So the two of them guess and then i secretly tell Jeanette that the bonus diaper is a Chunky bar.. so obviously Jeanette wins. When I go to give Crystal (no rsvper) a little candle as a second place prize she's like that girl was listening and heard my aunt say Chunky bar. I'm like no she wasn't (cause duh i told her thats how she knew). She's like yeah she DID. she was standing RIGHT THERE! and heard Mary say Chunky.. I'm like no, she was in the bathroom changing her daughters diaper. I was about to be like you're not even supposed to be here asshole and you tried saying Chunky AFTER your aunt said it and you're just fuckin pissed off cause you're a sore loser and not gonna win a lovely fucking calendar. fucking bitch.

- melissa got a ton of gifts. she got three fur coats. THREE! lol. My mom got her a little gold bracelet, my nanny got her her first diamond ring, and my aunt got her a matching jewish star (my sister and mom have matching ones and my aunt and i have matching ones). This lil girl is gonna be pimping in the poconos.

- halfway thru the gifts, the head manager (who i booked party with) is like hey we're cutting into dinner time we need to cut the party.. i say no bill you told me i can stay as long as i want. he's like yeah but its around 5 now. im like yes, did you hear about all the problems i had this morning because of you? i will serve cake while she opens gifts but i'm not rushing anyone out and i'm not paying for any drinks. he's like uhm ok we just shoulda started earlier. i'm like okey dokey next baby shower i have here i'll make sure to start it at noon. moron. they didn't even serve our food until 4 - what do they expect?

- at one point Emy calls me over and shes like "oh there were so many misunderstandings and" i cut her off and with a huge smile across my face i'm like "Emy I know. You really should have called me if you weren't feeling well! I'm so sorry to hear everything you're going thru.. you really should have just called!!" and shes like "yes but you know with everything going on.." cuttin her off again i'm like "really you shoulda called! but it doesn't matter, cause melissa is here having a wonderful time with all her friends and thats all that ever really mattered to me, melissa's happiness" and shes' like "oh uhm yes that matters but there were so many misunderstandings" and i'm like "listen i gotta go and see how the guys are doing we'll talk later" and walked away from her. The guys table ended up being mark, paul, my dad, pop, cyle, and joe (the waiter) and they played the games and enjoyed themselves.. i think.

ohhh and apparently the WHOLE TIME Emy was bitching about how it was ridiculous that there wasn't enough seats for everyone.. that cause 3 extra people from her family decided to show up.. and she was bitching about every little thing. one of my sisters friends was sitting across from her so she heard it all. When we were saying goodbye Nancy (the one across from her) was like Ali you threw a wonderful party! and you did it all by yourself! you're amazing! its a wonder how you put up with some of the assholes here!

-Emy got them a fucking check. in 7.5 months she couldnt walk into a fucking store and buy a pair of booties? Old coworkers that melissa hasn't seen in almost 2 years went out shopping and bought more stuff then her freaking mother in law. oh, she's been so so busy so she just got them a check. she's a stay at home mom and her youngest kid is 25! i was like what the fuck. i spent more on melissa's gift and i also threw her freakin shower. the only thing Emy did was make it a point to tell everyone to only buy pink things.. even tho it's not really 100% that it'll be a girl.. apparently its only about an 80% chance. oh well he'll be very comfy with his feminine side.

ridiculous. and so glad its done. even tho we still have the bassinet in our house since it didn't fit in anyone's car.
the baby shower is over.

i only had one nervous breakdown and only cried twice.

melissa had a wonderful time and got a bunch of stuff so thats all that matters

fuckin' emy piece of shit asshole.

yeah more about that later.
so for my sister's baby shower Emy (paul's mom) was all like i wanna be involved this time because she did absolutely NOTHING for the bridal shower. so i picked out the place, i'm paying for all the people, i'm getting the centerpieces and the cake and games and blah blah blah.

i asked her to pick up some balloons, do the favors (shes all crafty), and maybe some tablecloths or a banner. It's in a restaurant - so its not like we need many decorations.

i get an email this morning from my sister that paul is on the phone with his mother who has decided its WAY too much work for her to do now and she'll have to clean her house in case her family members decide to come over after the shower. NONE OF HER FAMILY HAS RESPONDED!

And this bitch has decided that she doesn't feel like calling me to tell me she's not going to do a single damn thing. so i guess its just going to be a surprise. Im really glad that when i was out shopping yesterday I looked at general ideas for favors and decorations cause i just had a feeling something like this would happen. Cause she's a useless bitch.

If she's doing nothing she's not invited to the shower. And if any of her relatives actually decide to call me and tell me they're coming to the shower i'm just going to tell them that it has been moved to Emy's house and they should go there instead of the restaurant.



November 2013

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