[personal profile] alibali
I had a very vivid dream about labor/birth.  Not at all vivid in the fact that I saw/felt everything just vivid in that I woke up surprised I was still pregnant. I was in horrible pain and then blacked out.  Apparently, I ended up getting a c-section and when I came to, Mark told me everything that happened because I didn't know anything.  I wasn't upset about the c-section because I didn't have any pain and felt much better than my vaginal birth last time.  I was actually incredibly upset that I had gotten an epidural and was so disappointed in myself.

Then, I decided to go through my bag and it was just full of stuffed animals and toys for Ziva.  It didn't have anything that I actually wanted to bring and it didn't have my magical placenta releasng herb that my midwife has told me to bring with me.  Once I realized I didn't have it, I figured the c-section was for the best so I didn't have to deal with someone reaching in and pulling out my placenta, I was just still upset about getting an epidural.  I was in the middle of saying why I was so upset and then real life burst into my room at 7am to announce she had to go potty so I woke up.

I think it's weird that in my dream I was totally okay with the c-section.  I guess cause this time around, I trust my midwife.  If I end up with a c-section, I know it was necessary and not that she just wants to end my pregnancy/labor so she can get home.  I've thought about the epidural and figured I would just play it by ear.  If I'm in horrible pain and can't take it anymore, I'll get the epidural.  If I'm handling things perfectly fine, there's no sense in getting the epidural.  Weird that in my dream that's what upset me.
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